Never love a writer — no, I’m serious. I know I sound like a hypocrite, writing this to you, proclaiming myself among the others who put word to paper and telling you to listen to me when I’m really saying you should stay away from us. But you should. If you ever find yourself falling for a writer, run far, far away. Start a new life and leave this one behind, because that is what we are best at — giving life to things that otherwise don’t have it. We are actors and liars at heart, every single one of us. We are good at telling stories and selling them to you with all that heartache, horror, tragedy, shock, romance, and drama. We are experts at destroying a good thing and telling you it is “character development.” If you find yourself wanting a writer, realize they will one day write about you, both as that ethereal being and the demon who comes to ruin them. If you object to our endings, we will tell you about story progression and how your conclusion has to wrap up your story in a way both satisfying to the reader but that still leaves them with lingering questions. If you ever try to ask us about what those lingering questions are, we will spin you another tale. It will never end, because neither do our stories. We tell ourselves them everyday in our own heads, hoping they’ll stick and mean something, meanwhile you will eventually be written out in favor of a better revision. Never love a writer. We will always love our writing more.
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